it gets really, really old spending all day with someone who is constantly battling you and constantly angry about things she can't even identify. and who, for perhaps the first time, doesn't want mamma anywhere near her.
i know i shouldn't use the word constant, because it isn't. the days are good, interspersed with unpredictable outbreaks.
sometimes i am handling it poorly, i admit. but more often than not, i am handling it well.
i have a mantra:
calm. consistent. firm, yet gentle. ignore.
and to this, my mom added: whisper. love.
i am struggling to find the solution, which when used, subdues the anger, calms the upset, gently disciplines, and expresses love, all at the same time. 1-2-3 magic does work for the most part, but i found it difficult to do when traveling. i have also discovered that i have unfortunately allowed myself to become a parent who bribes. now, i actually have nothing against bribing in general, but i allowed it to go too far. i have created a child who now asks regularly for treats and then turns into the devil when the answer is no. how did that happen? i can only hold myself responsible, so i am trying to undo my doings.
calm. consistent. firm, yet gentle. whisper. love. ignore.
taking a photo of a barrel cactus. happy with the camera immediately following a fuss. photo credit: my mom!and while i often feel as though i am suffering through these stages, i am still for a moment, only to look up and realize, again, just how quickly my little ones are growing. it hurts to realize we cannot relive these moments. i need to soak them all in as she takes two steps away from me and one step back.
perhaps we all just have growing pains.