i was reading back over some of my old entries and i realize, as we creep closer to finn's first birthday, that part of me is in shock a whole year has nearly passed, yet i realize also, how much i have changed. my early, post-partum entries are so filled with angst of various kinds. i won't lie and hide all the sketchy moments from you all now, but it has all gotten easier. we have gotten used to each other. gotten used to being home. gotten into a rhythm. here is a current entry from my "mamma musings," my personal journal i keep for my kids, about my kids.
I keep meaning to write in here and haven’t. During the last 2 or 3 months, I feel as though I need to start every entry by saying “these two are changing so quickly.” I keep writing entries in my head and haven’t gotten to the computer! I wonder if it is time to take this offline, to paper and pen, so I can write little bits as they pop into my head. For now, I know I have forgotten much of what I want to say.
I want to remember things like:
- Lala has been night time potty training over the last few weeks, with little pushing from us. On Wednesday, she woke with a dry diaper for the first time ever (in her whole life).
- She knows how to spell her first name and both her predominant nicknames. And she can write all three versions as well. I have to credit preschool for this.
- We are teaching her a little about emergencies, what they are, and what to do. So far, it hasn’t seemed to scare her.
- As much as she loves cats, she is obsessively concerned one will come into our house.
- She must have her hands absolutely and completely dry after washing them.
- Finnian is popping his 5th tooth.
- He crawls very quickly with his head tucked down, and runs into things with his head!
- He walked on his own, with a push toy, for the first time today.
- He whines for attention, whether it is because he is hungry or awake and wanting me to collect him from his crib. He only cries when he is hurt or really very upset. Or when he sees someone else cry. When he isn’t getting attention by whining, he throws himself on the floor, and rolls around. At this little age, that mini “tantrum” is darn funny.
- Between his teeth and his long hair and his recent growth spurt (length, not weight…his weight has been stable for 3 months now!), he looks like he is closer to 15 months than 11 months!
And perhaps most importantly, I have almost a week under my belt of handling the kids better (Lala especially) with no escalated fussies (from any of us). That feels good.